Friday, March 21, 2008

Ear Muffs on the Battery (Advice for Yankees in Charleston)

Its March no one wears ear muffs in March.

I swear this morning its 52 and as I stepped out to pick up the paper a transplanted neighbor from the great state of OHIO walked by wearing ear muffs and mittens. I've never owned ear muffs as I think they are illegal south of Washington DC, aren't they?

Same thing with ski masks if you wear a ski mask in Charleston chances are you're up to no good. I don't have any proof of this it’s just a hunch.

If you're new to Charleston and moved here from "up north" I'll offer some friendly advice. Unless you are heading home there's no reason to drive around with New York plates on your car. Same thing goes for Yankee or Red Sox plates, flags or bumper stickers. Yes the Yankees and Red Sox are great major league teams and we know the River Dogs are only a minor league team.

I'll admit that to many people a baseball game where the ticket only costs $5.00 can't be worth going. But it's just a game, $5.00 seats are closer to home plate than the $250.00 seat at Fenway, the beer is always cold, and you don't have to ride a subway to get there.

Just a suggestion, but you're probably not going to make a lot of friends with that "You Lost Get Over It" bumper sticker either. Yes the South lost, we were out numbered, and out gunned, we didn't have to pay our troops or have a draft, and when the whole thing was over we had given you Yankees one hell of a beating.

Please stop turning your nose up at grits and gravy biscuits. Frankly we think "New York" style pizza and Coney Island hot dogs are over rated.

We know it's hot and humid in Charleston during the month of August; you don't need to remind us. Those of us, who have lived here all our lives don't complain because, we know how to walk from King Street to Tommy Condon's without breaking a sweat by staying in the A/C or shade the entire way. Just a hint, it helps if you’re not wearing earmuffs.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It would probably add a small measure of validity to your comments, if you would use either correct grammar or correct spelling. Maybe even, and here's a novel idea, use both! Correct grammar and spelling might convince those of us 'up north' that some of you 'down south' aren't all ignorant, red-neck, inbred, backassward, and just plain stupid.

Just a suggestion, some people might take your comments a little more seriously, if you didn't have the faded white tell-tale round outline of the Skoal can on your jean hip pocket.

Just a hint, we really don't care who won or lost. Honestly, we have a lot more important, current issues that need our attention like the economy and the state of health care and education in this country. We usually don't even think about 'the late unpleasantness', unless someone from 'down south' reminds us of it.

Cedar Posts said...

I known my grammar is really bad and my spelling is just plain horrid.

Such is life in the South, sometimes things just aren't perfect. Which seems to drive "Yankees" nuts.

But to those of us who have lived here all our lives, we take the little bit of ragged edges as part of what makes the South home.

I once watched in dismay as a group of "Yankee" tourists in London, complained loud and obnoxiously about everything that makes breakfast in the UK, breakfast.

They complained about runny scrambled eggs, strong coffee, the man smoking a pipe and reading the Sunday Times and of course the slow service.

Bless their hearts....