Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Obama Names Sanjay Gupta What About Jack Bauer?

President Elect Barack Obama has nominated CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta as United States Surgeon General. What a great idea, appoint a political outsider who is easily recognizable and that Americans seem to trust.

Which got me thinking maybe all the presidential nominees should be celebrities?

So here's my list Mr. President it's not too late to make history and give a job to a number of Hollywood A listers.

Director of National Intelligence: Kiefer Sutherland

One name Kiefer Sutherland. Mr. Sutherland as Jack Bauer has been CTU's man with a plan, with an excellent ability to see what no one else can see, and know what no one else knows. Loyal, creative and never one to hold back blowing away the bad guys, he would be the perfect man to develop an alternative to water boarding, mainly knee capping.

Secretary of State: Bono

U-2's front man has spent his political capital and the last dozen years bringing together peace makers and deal makers, while "Sunday Bloody Sunday," might hold true as a reminder that peace is better than war, having a global celebrity who knows How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb isn't a bad idea either.

Secretary of the Treasury: Jim Cramer

Who better to replace the current Secretary of the Treasury crazy guy Henry Paulson, than even crazier Jim Cramer of CNBC's Mad Money, lets hope Jim can help the Treasury make back the money Paulson has been handing out to Corporate America by the Billions!

Secretary of Defense: Warren Sapp

Retired NFL Defensive Tackle Warren Sapp may be better known for his Dancing with the Stars gig and a huge non football following but the 7 time Pro Bowl selectee and Super Bowl Champion(XXXVII)knows DE-FENCE!

Attorney General: Judith Sheindlin

AKA Judge Judy, a former New York family court judge who doesn't hold back when she sees a crook, con-man or liar in her court room.

Secretary of the Interior: Steve Irwin

Steve Irwin the crocodile hunter. Wait he's dead, I think it was a hunting accident with Dick Cheney.

Secretary of Agriculture: Willie Nelson

If there is one department of the US Government that needs some aid its farmers and Farm Aid is Willie Nelson.

Secretary of Commerce: Billy Mays

Who better to start pushing American products that TV pitchman Billy Mays? This amped up carnival hawker could sell snow to Eskimos and sand to Arabs.

Secretary of Labor: Mike Rowe

If you've got a Dirty Job, who other than the Discovery Channel's Mike Rowe has the broad range of experience to understand what real work is all about?

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Huge Laurie

No one can cut through the BS like Dr. Gregory House, so Hugh Laurie will take over as long as he doesn't use his British accent and hit anyone with his trademark cane.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Oprah Winfrey

Oprah's got a new favorite thing she's going to build a house for everyone!

Secretary of Transportation: Jimmie Johnson

If the idea is to get from point A to point B fast, we need NASCAR's Jimmie Johnson.

Secretary of Energy: Richard Simmons

No one can argue that we need to kick start our energy resources and for that we turn to hyper active hyper nutcase Richard Simmons, just remember America the sooner we kick the energy habit the sooner we can stop the Richard Simmons public service announcements.

Secretary of Education: Kermit and Frog and Miss Piggy

Sure Margaret Spelling Bush's Sec of Ed seemed like a good choice but if BLOGS and News on the web is any indication, Americans need to get back to basics so Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy will share this joint position along with the letters A, B and C!

Secretary of Veterans: Tom Hanks

No one says "I relate to vets", like Tom Hanks, from Saving Private Ryan to Forrest Gump, Mr. Hanks has always portrayed our veterans fairly. If need be he can get his good buddy Steven Spielberg to help fix up some VA hospitals and cut through the red tape, after all government is like a box of chocolates, there is always a few nuts in the house.

Secretary of Homeland Security: Clint Eastwood

There is only once choice, Clint Eastwood. From the current "Get off my lawn" to "Go ahead make my day" no one says don't mess with me like the Mr. Eastwood.

So there you have Mr. President, your "A" list of nominations for public service.

God Bless America and God Bless Hollywood!


Anonymous said...

Dear Cedar,

No character on TV uses torture more than Jack Bauer, the hero of the FOX program "24" which begins its 7th season on Sunday night. In Bauer's hands torture appears to be the perfect tool to fight terrorism.

As the The New York Times and Washington Post reported, this season of "24" will make the debate over the use of torture central to the plot line. We are concerned about this development.

Two years ago Human Rights First began to investigate how "24," which has shown 89 scenes of torture in its first six seasons, influenced the thinking and the actions of young people in the armed services.

We learned that some junior soldiers — even some interrogators at Guantanamo Bay — had copied abusive interrogation techniques they saw depicted on the program. And military educators told us that "24" was the biggest problem they had in their classrooms.

In response, Human Rights First — helped by donations from hundreds of our supporters — developed a training film that we provided to more than 1,200 military educators.

The 15-minute film weaves together scenes from the program with the words of real world interrogators who explain that Bauer's tactics would never work in the field. The film is in use at a variety of facilities ranging from ROTC classrooms to classes at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.

As the new season of "24" begins, we want our film to reach a wider audience. Please consider forwarding a link to this film to anyone you think may be interested:


Anonymous said...

Dear Christian,

The 7th season of "24" began Sunday on The FOX Network. The program is essentially an hour long, prime time advertisement for torture.

Please join us in signing a letter to the Executive Producers asking them to show torture in a more responsible manner.

The first four episodes of the program, which aired on Sunday and Monday nights, appear to be designed to prove that those who are on the front lines in the struggle to stop terrorism understand that torture is an effective and necessary tool.

Watch our review of "24" – a 3-minute video that examines the first four episodes of Season 7.

Here are some of the plot points:

An FBI agent who is presented as adamantly opposed to torture drops her opposition soon after she is put in charge of an investigation to stop terrorists from killing thousands of Americans.
Jack Bauer, the hero of the show, delivers a passionate defense of his use of torture while hero music plays in the background. Later a U.S. security agent tells Bauer that "it is wrong" that some people question Bauer's use of abusive interrogation tactics.
Several torture scenes depict torture being used by Bauer and other "patriots" who supposedly have no other choice. Every time the good guys use torture terrorists immediately provide information.
Obviously many of the more than 12 million people who tuned in for the opening episodes are sophisticated enough to understand that this is just TV. But the relentless promotion of torture by "24" has already had an impact. Military educators report that "24" is one of the biggest problems they have in their classrooms and junior soldiers – even interrogators at Guantanamo Bay – have copied techniques they have seen depicted on the program, according to information gathered by journalists and Human Rights First.

We are concerned about the impact of "24" abroad as well. The first six seasons were re-broadcast in dozens of countries (including a number of countries in the Middle East) where the program has undoubtedly reinforced negative stereotypes about U.S. forces and the way they treat detainees.

At a time when President-elect Obama is considering action that will close the door on the sorts of abuse that Bauer specializes in, we are urging "24" to stop promoting torture.

Please join us in sending a letter to the Executive Producers of the program that encourages them to begin showing torture in a more responsible fashion.


David Danzig
Director, Primetime Torture Project