Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Michael Phelps sets a New Record Time "4:20"

Tall, handsome and an American hero, Michael "Mickey" Phelps emerges from the pool with one fluid push. One moment his head is barely visible above the pool edge the next his lengthy frame is standing full upright poolside, as water cascades down his length in a glistening sheen of brilliance.



Is is 4:20 yet? he asks of a fellow swimmer. Hell yea! replies another swimmer who is passing by, and before long the United States gold medal winner is headed to the showers and another dozen big hits on the bong.

Mickey as he's known to his stoner friends has money to burn and primo weed is his drug of choice. No need to mess with high end cocaine users and Colombian tec nine toting drug lords. Mickey Phelps likes local grown aquaculture pot. Grown right here on the campus of USC under the watchful eye of professors and deans alike.

If you don't already know four twenty refers to consumption of cannabis and, by extension, a way to identify oneself with cannabis drug subculture.

Mickey is a 4/20 poster boy for pot heads right down to his tricked out Chevy Tahoe with the vanity plate "4:20 Dude" which his mother mistakenly thinks is a 400 meter record he wants to break.

Michael "Mickey" Phelps has won more gold metals (14) than any other Olympian but will undoubtedly be remembered for his infamous bong hit, as he's got money to burn and weed to smoke.

In the oddest of Timothy Leary moments, Kellogg's fires Phelps and inside 24 hours Subway offers the munchies food craving pot head what he considers the "deal" of a lifetime free subway all meat club sandwiches for life!

And should we had expected anything less?

Yes, those non pot smokers among us expected a dramatic fall from grace, followed by a life of regrets and all that could have been simply wasted away, only to one day be discovered again living on the streets bottle to bottle by some television news reporter looking for an Emmy.

The sterotypical pot head is an unemployed porno addict, sitting in his parents’ basement, playing video games, eating Lucky Charms out of the box, whose best friend is a burger flipping, acne having, socially inept, friendless loser… the two freaks go on to be better known as "Ben and Jerry" and later sell out for millions.



But they are the exception rather than the rule? Well, shocking to some, admited potheads litter the "A" list of business who's who that includes:



Sir Richard Branson

The 236th richest person in the world, founder of the Virgin empire, which encompasses everything from airlines to record stores to cell phones, and made his entire multi-billion dollar fortune from absolutely nothing. He has publicly stated that there’s nothing wrong with smoking pot, has petitioned for the legalization of pot, and even said that if it were legal, he’d sell it.



Rick Steves

Your name doesn’t become synonymous with ‘European Travel’ by accident. You can’t just take a bong hit, lay back in your bean bag and toss off a few ‘graphs on how awesome the Louvre is. And yet here’s Rick Steves, author of 27 top selling European travel guides, host of his own TV show and radio show, and a very outspoken pothead.



Barack Obama

Almost every American President before Barry, from Washington to Clinton to Bush, has had a pot addled past. Clinton purportedly tried and failed to smoke a joint, Bush was a boozer, but messed with coke and pot from time to time, Washington even grew marijuana on his farm.

He wrote extensively about his stoner past in his book Dreams of My Father. Anyone who wonders what kind of future a pothead can have should take a hard look at Barack Obama. Not only can you grow up to be ridiculously smart, you can grow up to be President.



Michael Bloomberg

The Mayor of New York’s last name is associated with ‘business’ and ’success’, not ‘failure’ and ‘the munchies’. But if you’re one of those idiots who believes a pothead could never amount to anything, you’d have never guessed this was the way Bloomberg would turn out. Did he smoke pot when he was younger? In his own words “You bet I did. And I enjoyed it!”



Ted Turner

Ted is a rare breed of billionaire — he comes off as completely absent minded, incapable of even putting on his own pants. Yet he is a mega-mogul. He single-handedly invented the 24-hour news cycle with CNN, was named Time’s Man of the Year in 1991, is the largest private land owner in America, and also owns a few other TV stations, and the Atlanta Braves. So… owning lots of stuff? Not what you’d expect from a guy who grew pot in his college dorm room. Ted is also a major funder of the Kentucky Hemp Museum, along with renowned stoner Woody Harelson, and is a well known fan of the classic stoner cartoon Scooby-Doo.



Montel Williams

The talk show prince discovered pot late in life, and for good reason. Back in 1999 he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, and couldn’t find anything to suppress his symptoms. He tried all sorts of pain killers; none worked, and all had horrible side effects. So he decided to try medical marijuana (same thing as regular marijuana, FYI) and it worked wonders for him! Years later, he is one of MS’s most recognizable faces, one of medical marijuana’s staunchest defenders, and even though he’s baked all the time, still managed to host his own talk show until 2008, when it was unfortunately canceled. Well, at least he’s still got his weed.



Stephen King

Every actor, musician and artist ever is a huge pothead. But writing 1,000 page novels is a slightly different process. You can’t just ‘jam out’ The Stand. Over the course of his career, both his output and his success have been unparalleled. He’s authored upwards of 50 novels and short stories which have sold a collective 500 million copies worldwide. He’s also been one of the most vocal proponents for the legalization of marijuana, calling laws against the drug “ridiculous,” and stating that “I think that marijuana should not only be legal, I think it should be a cottage industry.”



Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Governator is the only man on this list who is actually on video smoking weed. In the classic documentary Pumping Iron, he is seen smoking, and loving, a joint. According to Arnold, marijuana “is not a drug, it’s a leaf.”

So the sad fact is pot heads are a pretty successful group, even so ya'll fire up that bong if you like, I'm going to sit this one out as the only time for me is Miller Time.

UPDATE FEBRUARY 16, 2009

COLUMBIA, S.C. -- A South Carolina sheriff said Monday he won't charge swimmer Michael Phelps after a photo of the 14-time gold medalist showed him smoking from a marijuana pipe.

Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott said he couldn't ignore the photo but defended his investigation.

"Michael Phelps is truly an American hero... but even with his star status, he is still obligated to obey the laws of our state," Mr. Lott said.

AP Wire Services

No comments: