Thursday, July 1, 2010


I sat in the Regal theater at Stone Crest and watched Eclipse last night.

It's been a while since Mrs. Cedar and I went to a movie. The reason? The truth is I'm spoiled and I must admit I really hate going to the movies. My home theater has turned me into a movie snob and phobic about sticky floors and rude people.

Four times before the movie begins I'm reminded that I need to turn my cell phone to silent, stop talking and no texting.

I'm amazed at the amount of food some people drag in with them, 30 seconds before the lights go down. A barrel of popcorn, drinks the size of ice tea pitchers, twizzlers, M&M's, beef jerky, pizza and a bucket of KFC!

No more than 39 minutes into the film the women in the center of the row makes an exit. 5 minutes later she's back. See repeats the process 3 times.

Then the family of four Behind us gets up one at a time in the middle of the mountain scene and each of them let the seat flop back and forth to the upright position. Bonk, bonk, thud, thud, thud.

The Regal staff come into the theater every ten minutes or so and stare up at the crowd. The are no more than 30 people, so the employee can't be counting us, no one is out of control acting up or causing trouble so I have no idea why the one girl keeps popping out from around the corner and looking up at us. I'm starting to feel paranoid.

About the movie, wolfboy aka Jacob, you wuss! Gets hurt in the not so epic werewolves vs bad vampires scene. Come on Jacob take the pain! After all because of you I am now doomed to a life of crunches in search of my abs.

Edward is just weird. I find nothing redeeming about his hot and cold emotions or his goofy sparkling.

Bella you are so cute, and now that you are finally not a teenager your butt has filled out nicely. Those jeans that you wear for the entire movie are just right! I know this because while everyone else wants to bite your neck I just want to smack your butt!

Bonus character Alice Cullen aka Ashley Greene is hotter than train smoke. I'm serious she could bite me anytime.

The movies ends where it started in a field of flowers and as I noted on twitter yesterday, twilight is just like soccer, everyone runs around for two hours and no one scores. Afterwards thousands of fans put you down because you don't feel passionately about the whole thing.

Note to Mrs. Cedar You owe me!


Anonymous said...

Cedar I am surprised you would find either Bella or Alice attractive I so had you fopr big boobs and blond?

Interesting you are married and nice enough to go with your wife to Twilight 3, yet you are a total DICK|

Anonymous said...

I feel fortunate that my grand daughters are too young for "Twilight" movies and if their Mother is interested, she would go with someone else and not tell.

The best movie I have seen in a long time, in the company of all mentioned above, was the Disney flick about training dragons. If you can find it, take your Lady and go see it in 3-D!

I actually went once by myself and then the next day took everybody. It was even better the second time!

I am in the fringes of a major city, but with a late-in-run even major flick, I have had a lot of 'Private Screenings' for showings starting around 10 PM even on a Friday or Saturday night. Too cool.

Tony said...

Dear 5:58,
Huh? What in the world is wrong with you?

Anonymous said...

To quote Bailey White's mother "It was good but it s no Midnight Cowboy"