So God Made a Husband

Because she said I wouldn't dare.

As you know, God created the world in 6 days and on the 7th day he rested. 

And then according to Paul Harvey on the 8th day he made a Farmer. Then on the 9th day a dog. 

So apparently on the 10th day he looked down and saw a woman “fiddling” around the yard and thought to himself, she is going to make a mess of things unless I get her some help. So God made a husband.

God said, "I need someone to fix things that aren't broken, move furniture, move it again and then move it back to where it has been for ten years." So God made a husband.

God said, "I need someone to repair a vacuum cleaner by simply plugging it in, then load the dishwasher, turn it on and then empty the dishwasher and repeat the process as often as told." So God made a husband.

God said, "I need someone to hold doors, umbrellas, and hands whenever required, then pick up kids at school, dogs from the kennel, and mother in-law at the airport, never complain and just smile, and then announce that he loves mom's American Chop Suey." So God made a husband.

It had to be somebody who’d change a tire, mow the lawn, take out the trash, split wood, build a fire, grill steaks, find the car keys, and run to the grocery store on their way home after a ten-hour work day to pick up milk. Somebody to build a small wooden box and bury a four-pound family pet in the garden but keep his tears to himself, able to hold the family together in the worst of times and dance with her in the rain. Who would laugh, and then sigh, and reply with smiling eyes, when she says "my toilet" is not working again.

So God made a husband.

(In my childhood - summers were spent in rural America with my grandparents who listened to Paul Harvey every day at noon - his “So God Made a Farmer” speech came too late for me to understand fully their lives in rural southern Illinois. But now decades later Yep I get it!)