Monday, May 26, 2008

One Hundred Pounds of Trouble

Racing’s biggest weekend has crossed the finish line and headed to the garage. Scott Dixon won the rather dull Indy 500 and Kasey Kahne took his place in victory lane at the Coca-Cola 600.

But the weekend may just belong to the pint sized fire ball Danica Patrick. Not for her driving ability but for her passion. With only 29 laps to go and the leaders exiting the pits, Ryan Briscoe jumped lanes and clipped Danica as she accelerated to re-enter the race and close out a top-five finish.

After her disabled car was pushed back to the pit, the 100 pound Danica exited her car and marched purposefully down pit road on a collision course with Ryan Briscoe.


Unfortunately, Charles Burns, head of security for the IRL, made the same mistake as Briscoe, cutting Patrick off and redirecting her before she could make the Indy 500 America’s No. 1 news story.

There have been a lot of questions about Danica’s ability to win races, but Danica Patrick has the right stuff.

She has the passion and she is willing to do whatever it takes. In a world where attractive women all have the same breast size and hair color Danica has my attention.


While the rest of manhood is drawn to the latest enhanced product of Playboy I’m drawn to the fire that is Danica. But I know better, the Danicas of the world are trouble; they have way too much passion, can’t hold their drink, and swear like sailors.

To them naked is just another form of attire, they shoot pool like pros, unless they lose in which case they’ll dare the boys to fight and charge at anyone who gets in their way.

Danica girls are a sure bet to get you arrested on a Saturday night or finding your truck keyed and your front door kicked in should you break their hearts.

“As you all know, I’m really emotional,” Patrick said standing outside her garage, explaining whether she planned to take a swing at Briscoe. I know Danica girls and she was not only going to take a swing at Briscoe she was going to lay him out.

I think it’s time Danica moved to NASCAR, she’d be right at home rubbing tires, and throwing punches and I know she would win races and her fan base would double.

I know this because I have known a Danica and I have the scars and broken front door as a permanent reminder.

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