Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Twilight a Guy's Survial Guide

I have a confession to make, I'm a Twilight Fan. Somehow I was "turned" into a fan along with millions of teenage girls, sorority sisters, twi-moms and left over 80's goth freaks.

Not the crazy stand out in the rain to be the first to see the next installment kind of fan, nor am I obsessed with the whole Twilight vampires and werewolves deal, but there is a lot to like about the first movie.

I'm embarrassed to say, I've watched the darn thing about eight times at least twice all the way through. The only other films that can claim that, are Hunt For Red October, and Caddy Shack!

The first Twilight film directed by Catherine Hardwicke, is a low budget film that succeeded because it has both excellent location work and character development, plus fabulous scenery, a wonderfully dark feel with a really cool sound track, featuring LinkinPark, Muse, Collective Soul, and the haunting "Bella's Lullaby".

The three main stars Taylor Lautner (Jacob), Robert Pattinson (Edward), Kristen Stewart (Bella) have hit the jackpot and will be bookable stars for the next dozen years or more. Pattinson is a much younger Hugh Grant and Stewart is adorably shy and quirky and Lauter has his abs.

Stewart won her role for Twilight due to her role in the film "Into The Wild", another favorite of Cedar Posts, Pattinson as accomplished actor had just the right amount of "English" mystification and Lautner well his abs.

Kellan Lutz who plays the role of Emmett Cullen (Plays Edward's Adoptive Brother), starred in the HBO production of "Generation Kill" which I have also watched a dozen times in the last year.

What I like most about Twilight is the pace, the film moves and if you can overlook the attraction most women find in the film that of "dangerous love", you'll find a really good film with great scenes of the Pacific Northwest.

Unfortunately New Moon and Eclipse, hired other directors and in the case of New Moon the film suffers from gimmicks and special effects overload. But the first Twilight is an enjoyable film that you can watch again and again and still be entertained.

If you can't even bare the thought of watching even a second of the first film much less stand in the rain for the premiere of Eclipse here is a 59 second primer that should get most guys though the next few weeks of Twilight insanity and get you up to speed sort of.....

Bella aka Kristen Stewart goes to live with her father who is the police chief in a small Pacific Northwest town. Jacob Taylor Launter is Bella's childhood friend, (he's a werewolf) and he is a hard ass looking for a fight. Bella meets Edward (Robert Patterson) who is pretty much the odd loner type at the local High School and they hook up.

So for the whole first installment of Twilight, Bella is torn between bad boy Jacob and his abs and dark mysterious loner boy Edward. The trouble is werewolves and vampires don't get along.

To make matters worse, not all vampires are nice like Edward and his family. Enter James who referrers to Bella during a baseball game as "a snack". Seriously my favorite part of the first Twilight is the baseball scene and James smelling Bella then cocking his head like a dog trying to figure out how to grab the "snack"


The rest of the movie is Bella dealing with her own feelings and raging hormones. The balance of the Twilight saga of which part three Eclipse premiers June 30th is Bella dealing with the reality of being human, we grow up but vampires never age and the fact that she's a "snack" and of course "choices" she makes and the risks she takes.

Eclipse is the third novel of four, written by author Stephine Meyer, and just to make life unbearable for twilight husbands and boyfriends, the producers behind the films are making the fourth book "Breaking Dawn" into two movies!

Now you have enough Twilight knowledge to make some really big points with your "Twilight" starved spouse or spousal equivalent.

Mrs Cedar now has Bella's Lulaby as her ring tone, (I love it when she jumps around all stupidly excited) which is so much better than the old "striper" music that I've had to listen to for the last year.


Anonymous said...

I knew it you are GAY!

Anonymous said...

I doubt Cedar is gay though I wonder about the frog in the photo. The Twilight franchise does not surprise me it hits women right in the heart all that crap Edward tells Bella "I couild never hurt you" is just what they live for they want to think its true of couirse in the end he is going tpo be a dick and rip her heart out and have it for lunch. She is just a "snack"