The Fox News videographer removed his camera from the tripod and started to walk back to his news truck. "Just got a call from the newsroom, it's a suicide or maybe at this point still an attempted suicide..... we don't cover those."
An hour later only two CMPD cruisers remain, the crime scene tape gently rising and falling in the afternoon spring breeze. A couple of CMPD officers, a homicide detective and crime scene tech mill about. The tech making notes and taking photos under the watchful eye of the detective. The passenger door to the SUV still open as if someone was emptying groceries and had just stepped inside. A hundred feet away neighbors slowed their cars, looked for a moment and then carried on with their lives.
On a cold stainless steel table, the body of what was once a healthy young man. The physician standing next the table has finished his work, and noted the "Cause of Death" as self inflicted gunshot.
The Charlotte Observer obituary made no mention of suicide, not one of the dozens of comments even hinted that he took his own life.
Brian O'Neal Wheatley, 34, of Charlotte, NC, passed away on Monday, March 26, 2012. He was born on October 11, 1977 in Orlando, FL. He moved to Charlotte, North Carolina, at the age of 14. Brian attended Charlotte Christian School and graduated with the class of '96 from Southpark Academy.
The sad footnote to a life reportedly spent in turmoil. Friends say Brian suffered on and off again bouts with depression, some noted drugs and marriage problems.
But to look through the many photos of Brian show that he had much to live for friends family and a true love of everything outdoors.
Four days later CMPD Homicide Detectives were back in the same neighborhood. The low pitch rumble of Charlotte Fire's Ladder 24 is followed up the divided tree lined street by Medic. There are no sirens yet the Medic units LED lights and strobes are still flashing as the trucks slowly climb the hill towards Rea Road.
Just a block or so away CMPD Officers are back on the job. A woman in her mid 60's has apparently taken her own life. It is just after 11:00 when a CMPD Detective is seen outside walking the victim's dog. An extremely kind gesture in a rather unkind business.
Mary Glenda Cashner was 66 years old. Concerned neighbors speak of her gently, and that she had suffered with a medical condition called Fibromyalgia a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues.
The pain and depression had reportedly taken a toll on Glenda Cashner, and she too has apparently taken her own life. Her obituary is here.
In both cases the pain of depression was too great to bare, but it is the families that must now bear so much, because it all falls upon them.
Another beautiful Carolina spring day, the warm breeze sends petals cascading across the driveways like flurries during a snow storm. Flowers have sprung from every corner of this elegant neighborhood but behind the doors families grieve.
Suicide is simple for those who take their own lives, for the rest of us even this writer we are burdened with the question as to why?
Cedar Posts Update: I got a lot of grief about this post, much from the Cashner family, some via the comments and others via email. The ME report has been released, and as expected Glenda Cashner took her own life. It is not a matter of she accidentally took one or two or ten pills too many. She took a hand full and choked them down hoping it would end her pain. It did.
Yet there is no joy in being right, I only hope her family can find peace and the rest of us learn to recognize the warning signs.
28 comments:
I have been a close family friend of Ms. Cashner and her family for over twenty years now. I do not feel that this public posting on people's private pain is respectful of them or the issues they suffered. The autopsy results are not even back, so even to label this a suicide is negligent reporting. The issues need our attention and proper respect - the private details of people's lives do not.
It is time that people stop trying to cover up suicide. If we understand what darkness drives people to the edge and over the cliff we may be able to stop this madness.
I didn't know Ms. Cashner or Mrs. Whatley but I do know suicide. My mother killed herself when I was 14 and at the time I was told she had a heart attack.
A little white lie, she did in fact die of heart failure, her heart stopped because her brain had died from four hours of auto exhaust.
As far as anonymous 11:52 Ms. Cashner's life became a public event when she decided to take her own life an become a expense to the public.
Thinking of taking that big step? Are you thinking of ending it all you might want to check this out first.
The Ten Minute Suicide Guide
Yes a little "dark humor"
I think if you kill yourself, you become a public death open to anyone you care to post your name.
And your soul is sent straight to hell. The only unforgivable sin in killing yourself.
Sometimes the main stream media reports on this sort of thing, but only if it is really violent.
I think it should be reported. Expose these cowards for what they are.
Just saying.
You guys misunderstood. I am the family friend of Ms. Cashner.
The blog was irresponsible because no one knows yet if her death was a suicide. The family does not even know yet. The autopsy won't be completed for an entire month. There are a number of things it might have been, very medically possible and even likely alternatives.
The reporting was irresponsible because the facts weren't straight. It got at least three other points wrong.
A public death does not entail a public disclosing of a person's life. You are confusing this with someone in the public eye - a celebrity, for example. Legally, the situation is different for that person as opposed to a private citizen.
Is it really necessary to post a person's name if you want to post personal details? At least get the details right, for goodness sake.
By the way, I do not believe in covering up suicide. To report a suicide publicly - when in fact it is a CONFIRMED suicide - is just fine. I have no problem with it. In fact, I agree with it.
It's just not respectful to go blabbing all about the private pain someone was in if (1) the family does not want it or does not even get a say in the article and (2) if it's just blabbing hearsay and not well-researched.
I read the article. It got so many things wrong. It was ignorant.
But otherwise, I believe in transparency when it comes to mental issues. So we don't have retards posting hateful and ignorant comments like the above, for one reason.
I just realized I was wrong. I wrote the comments at 12:07 and 12:14 am. Whether a person is a public figure or not has nothing to do with his/her's right to privacy after death. In this respect, you are all correct. A person has no legal right to privacy after he or she dies.
But morally, a blogger should get his facts straight before posting something public about another person - dead or alive.
I think some of you are imagining this as some obvious death by suicide. This simply wasn't the case. It wasn't something clear-cut like auto exhaust or hanging or anything like that. It is very much a mystery, and there are a real number of strong possibilities. I'm not denying it was suicide because I simply do not know. My feeling is that it was not, but again, I don't know. No one knows. So to include her in this article was premature, irresponsible, and morally wrong.
God Bless.
Dear GB,
I'm sure if you email Cedar Posts they will be more than happy to correct any errors you point out.
As to cause of death, clearly if the police have crime scene out to the house they have reason to suspect foul play.
In may it fact have been a homicde, but you don't get a bunch of suits unless they has reason for concern.
Mrs. Cashner's death has not been ruled a suicide. As mentioned in the first comment, the suits were there, probably because of suspected foul play. There are some who feel sure that this was not a suicide, and it is unfair and disrespectful to come to premature conclusions.
Cedar,
Looks like you have gotten under someone's skin, imagine that.
I don't often come to your defense but you did say apparent suicide, and the police report says she had over dosed before so I'm thinking you are on pretty solid ground here.
If it was a murder you do you suspect the husband?
Cedar any guess as to why there is no obit in the Charlotte Observer? Maybe she isn't dead?
I'm Glenda's daughter. Sadly, I can confirm that my mother is, in fact, dead.
I appreciate some of the comments to Cedar's post about my mother. "Apparently" suicide can be a lightening rod for all kinds of reasons. My family will know why my mom died when the autopsy comes back. Either way, I'd never deny the reason my mother died - I'd just hope to be able to clarify assumptions and false representations from gossips and bloggers like Cedar and some of those who have posted comments.
~Siroui
I'm Glenda's daughter. Sadly, I can confirm that my mother is, in fact, dead.
I appreciate some of the comments to Cedar's post about my mother. "Apparently" suicide can be a lightening rod for all kinds of reasons. My family will know why my mom died when the autopsy comes back. Either way, I'd never deny the reason my mother died - I'd just hope to be able to clarify assumptions and false representations from gossips and bloggers like Cedar and some of those who have posted comments.
~Siroui
As a reporter/blogger you should take the responsibility and time to report the facts...otherwise your story is nothing more than pure blubber and BS! This type of reporting makes you no better Rupert Murdoch...just another scumbag reporting false facts and making something out of nothing.
"Just a block or so away CMPD Officers are back on the job. A woman in her mid 60's has apparently taken her own life. It is just after 11:00 when a CMPD Detective is seen outside walking the victim's dog. An extremely kind gesture in a rather unkind business.
Mary Glenda Cashner was 66 years old. Concerned neighbors speak of her gently, and that she had suffered with a medical condition called Fibromyalgia a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues.
The pain and depression had reportedly taken a toll on Glenda Cashner, and she too has apparently taken her own life. Her obituary is here."
Get your story straight before
you write it!
Funny on going war of words you people are having over this Glenda Cashner person.
Sounds like the family is dealing with some pretty heavy guilt. Wonder if any of the took the time to visit Glenda during her battle with pain and depression?
Doubtful.
The real story you should be covering: The Dr.'s who prescribe prescription drugs who do not monitor the patients - the pleas made by the family to the doctors to help her and re-evaluate her medications and help ween her off what was killing her in the first place... - CMC hospital who did nothing more than look at her prescriptions and give her an automated psych test, then put her on the same scripts and released her for the third and final time after the family begged to keep her and help - the un-attentive DR.who ignored her pleas for help until it was brought to their attention by my sister who stood there and watched the moron DR. do nothing but scribble on a pad of paper - the hospitals were more concerned by insurance coverage, the other Dr.'s who were on vacation and could not be reached and when they were finally reached did not find this situation urgent enough to attend too. Yes you have struck a very personal cord - not even knowing what the family is currently going through and YES we did visit her for the short time she was in the hospital and yes we did everything in our power we could do to help her...HOW you even know it is a suicide is beyond me since the autopsy report has not even been released...maybe she had a seizure and died of natural causes. There was no homocide - and if you think there was it was at the hands of the Dr.'s...
It is disturbing and disgusting that this was even blogged about - do you have no respect for the privacy of the family - are you such scum that you cannot even reveal your true self...
My final question to this blogger - were you at the crime scene when it happened? Do you live for the police scanner and hop on a crime in hopes of catching a story - regardless of who it effects? DO you have a heart? I would like to speak with you in person.
Anonymous said...
You should contact CP via email I am sure he would take your concerns in to account. If more people would talk openly about this maybe some lives would be saved.
Did your mother overdose the 3 prior times she was hospitalized?
You're mentioning the people we love as coward will not help anyone that is desperate!
YOU ARE A FOOL.. to think that this will have any affect on helping suicide attempts!!
How dare you use the name of people we love..
how dare you hurt their family members in these actions..
you will pay for this action.. this is a private pain it does not belong to you..
a coward lives and write these words a beautiful person that was brave and ill lost their life
What a chicken sad case you are staying anonymous..
But we know who you are you look like a weirdo and more than likely a pedophyle or are you a grave robber??? Most definitely some sort of stalker.. I am sorry this is a sad way you must gain attention..
Cedar looks like your haters are back after like forever.
Why don't you publish the State Medical Examiners Report, I'm sure the part about Cashner having a frothed up mouthful of pills will get little notice as well as the off the chart numbers for alcohol and cocaine.
A beautiful person who was brave? More like a has been who couldnt deal with her age, cheating husband and neglectful family and took the espresso route to hell.
8:02 I think 7:34 and 7:42 is like 8 or maybe 12.
Not sure if they are hating on Cedar or someone else. I'd guess they are Cashner grand kids upset that she killed herself.
Well apparently their guilt makes them want to blame others?
Sad suicide must run in the family, side by side with denial.
You are a sad joke..
Cedar And the other followers who don't have a life and listen to your garbage..
BTW.. Take the names of this blog..
This is a warning.. We know who you are
You have a right to write your garbage..
Your moral responsibility is to keep it from being personalized..
remove the names
9:18 - Ms. Cashner became a public event when she decided to take her own life and become a expense to the public.
As far as removing names it looks like you're going about that all wrong since she offed herself, and Cedar knew that information because he is very well connected with the department, the DA and the Fire Department.
I might even suggest that your verbal assault crosses the line and is cause for arrest.
The funniest part is every time you comment on this story it pops up higher on the search results.
Confirmation .. the Bozo Cedar is a "Necrophyliac".. explains his sadistic and socially raw urges to disrespect the dead and those who loved them.. oncluding their precious innocent children.
Cedar is a bad news psycho
.
Cedar I demand a folo!
Put this story back up at the top of your blog!
We want the truth did she off herself isn't this the home where the squatters took over?
Enquiring minds want to know!
Hey October 25 that's rich! I guess old Cedar sodomized Glenda before they tossed her lifeless corpse into the medic van? I know that's cold, and stiff and well cold. But I'm sure she didn't complain.
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