Haitian Zombies Crossing The Border

I don't want to alarm anyone, but the idea of resettling thousands of Haitian "refugees" randomly around the country has me freaked out. 

They are not being screened for COVID, no real background checks, and finally there's no ZOMBIE screening. 

I've spent the better part of my life in the Caribbean. First with the US Navy as part of the Joint Interagency Task Force (a lifetime ago) and more recently as Captain of private yachts doing countless for hire charters in the "Islands". 

Zombies and Voodoo are all part of island life. 

This is a true story:

A man walked into l’Estere, a village in central Haiti, approached a peasant woman named Angelina Narcisse, and identified himself as her brother Clairvius. 

If he had not introduced himself using a boyhood nickname and mentioned facts only intimate family members knew, she would not have believed him. Because, eighteen years earlier, Angelina had stood in a small cemetery north of her village and watched as her brother Clairvius was buried. 

The man told Angelina he remembered that night well. He knew when he was lowered into his grave, because he was fully conscious, although he could not speak or move. As the earth was thrown over his coffin, he felt as if he were floating over the grave. The scar on his right cheek. he said, was caused by a nail driven through his casket. 

The night he was buried, he told Angelina, a voodoo priest raised him from the grave. He was beaten with a sisal whip and carried off to a sugar plantation in northern Haiti where, with other zombies, he was forced to work as a slave. Only with the death of the zombie master were they able to escape, and Narcisse eventually returned home. 

Legend has it that zombies are the living dead, raised from their graves and animated by malevolent voodoo sorcerers, usually for some evil purpose. 

Most Haitians believe in zombies, and Narcisse’s claim is not unique. At about the time he reappeared, in 1980, two women turned up in other villages saying they were zombies. In the same year, in northern Haiti, the local peasants claimed to have found a group of zombies wandering aimlessly in the fields. 

But Narcisse’s case was different in one crucial respect; it was documented. His death had been recorded by doctors at the American-directed Schweitzer Hospital in Deschapelles. 

On April 30, 1962, hospital records show, Narcisse walked into the hospital’s emergency room spitting up blood. He was feverish and full of aches. His doctors could not diagnose his illness, and his symptoms grew steadily worse. Three days after he entered the hospital, according to the records, he died. The attending physicians, an American among them, signed his death certificate. 

His body was placed in cold storage for twenty hours, and then he was buried. He said he remembered hearing his doctors pronounce him dead while his sister wept at his bedside.

But the zombie myth is far older and more rooted in history than you might think.

It first appeared in Haiti in the 17th and 18th centuries, when the country was known as Saint-Domingue and ruled by France, which hauled in African slaves to work on sugar plantations. 

Slavery in Saint-Domingue under the French was extremely brutal: Half of the slaves brought in from Africa were worked to death within a few years, which led only to the capture and import of more. 

In the hundreds of years since, the zombie myth has been widely appropriated by American pop culture in a way that whitewashes its origins—and turns the undead into a platform for escapist fantasy. . 

But Haitian slaves believed that dying would release them back to lan guinée, literally Guinea, or Africa in general, a kind of afterlife where they could be free. Though suicide was common among slaves, those who took their own lives wouldn’t be allowed to return to lan guinée. Instead, they’d be condemned to skulk the Hispaniola plantations for eternity, undead slaves at once denied their own bodies and yet trapped inside them—soulless zombies. 

After the Haitian Revolution in 1804 and the end of French colonialism, the zombie became a part of Haiti’s folklore. The myth evolved slightly and was folded into the Voodoo religion, with Haitians believing zombies were corpses reanimated by shamans and voodoo priests.

Sorcerers, known as bokor, used their bewitched undead as free labor or to carry out nefarious tasks. This was the post-colonialism zombie, the emblem of a nation haunted by the legacy of slavery and ever wary of its reinstitution. 

At this point you obviously understand this post was made in jest. Or is it? After all the the CDC itself, has dedicated part of its website to “zombie preparedness.” 

While Haitians at Camp Biden are slowly being shipped out the question is to where? Biden officials say they are returning the illegals to Haiti but other sources say that's not true.

In fact one solid source said he saw at least 127 deplaning in Des Moines Iowa.

Iowa? Seriously?

They have no job skills few speak English. Their children are at least four grade levels behind US kids even in rural America. Many adults lack even a junior high school education.

And then there's the midwestern winter. My God what are they thinking. Winter is a learned skill set, perhaps even inherited.  Passed down from one generation to another. People just don't move to Iowa.