Oh to be Irish for One Day

Hard to figure why anyone would want to be Irish, given that at the turn of the last century the Irish were considered to be the lowest form of labor, sans African Americans, around.

 

The girls from Belmont Abby 2009

 

As immigrants, they took the hardest and dirtiest jobs, the ones nobody else would take. Some settled in the Carolina's along with the Scots before the revolution, but the majority came two centuries later in the immigration wave of the early 1900's, streaming into New England and later the industrial center of the Midwest, Chicago and then California.

There's no fame in being from a hard scrabble family of Irish.

But for this Thursday March 17th and through the weekend, being Irish is in vogue, or at least the St. Patrick's Day myth of being Irish mainly a drunk or as they say in Ireland Fluthered.

But during the other 364 days of the year I hope pretending to be Irish doesn't drive you to drink.

My grandfather was often asked what are you? Irish, English, Scot? His reply "I'm an American". Just the same having a last name that beings with "Mac" is a give away. Cousins named O'Shaunessy and a wife who's maiden name is the Americanized version of O'Henry even her mother's maiden name O'Dell reeks of Irish liquor. Drunks all of ye!

Slang offensive names used by your great grandfather to describe an Irishman as "Mick" or "Limey" as well as Mackerel, Mead, Paddy, Pot-Licker, Wic, NINA (No Irish Need Apply) and Pogue have long since faded away. Thank you JFK.

So, if you must celebrate all things Irish lets get the basics out of the way.

First St. Patrick is not a famous drunk or the inventor of Guinness that would be Arthur Guinness.

Arthur Guinness (Not Saint Patrick)

Guinness may be known for his beer, but his business sense was pretty epic as well. 

In 1759, Guinness went to Dublin to set up his business and took a 9,000 year lease (not a typo) on the 4-acre brewery at St. James's Gate from the descendants of Sir Mark Rainsford for an annual rent of £45, about $90.00 USD. Apparently without an escalation clause.

Must have had a pretty smart Realtor (TM).   I'll drink to that!

It is St. Patrick, not St. Paddy or heaven forbid St. Patty  - Look around you, and you'll find dozens of signs or television ads, and tweeter posts declaring St. Patty's Day. This of course is a major faux pas, since Patty refers to the female gender.  

Green Beer - I've traveled across Ireland for more than 3 decades and have yet to find a pub that offered green beer. Skip the Guinness and ask for Smithwick's (pronounced Smith-icks) Red Ale. It is not Guinness but the brand is now owned by the same conglomerate Diageo.  Harp is a good choice or if you can find it go for an O'Dell's. (Shameless self promotion to benefit Mrs. Cedar's family).

The Leprechaun Thing - Just No! 

Wearing Green - If Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben are offensive or dressing in black face is racist, isn't the cultural appropriation of the Irish both offensive and racist? Or are Black dwarfs dressed as Leprechauns OK? (Just asking for a friend).

Chicago's Leprechaun Mayor Lori Lightfoot and her "wife" Amy Eshleman

Chicago's Leprechaun Mayor Lori Lightfoot 

About the snakes -There are no snakes in Ireland, not now and not ever. This is not because St. Patrick drove them out, but rather it is just to damn cold in Ireland.

Blarney Stone - This is not a rock in some field in Ireland, in fact if you must "kiss" the stone you have to stand on your head and lean backwards out over the edge of an Irish Castle.

 

The Blarney Stone is a block of bluestone built into the battlements of Blarney Castle, in Blarney Ireland, about 8 kilometres from Cork, Ireland. According to legend, kissing the stone endows the kisser with the gift of the gab. So does killing a couple of pints of Guinness.

For the record there are more Irish in America than there are in Ireland.

Irish Presidents - JFK was a proud Irish Catholic. 23 of the 46 US Presidents claim Irish heritage including Barrack Obama. But only one is famous for insulting the Irish. Yes you guessed it Joe Biden, the king of the gaff said in 2019: "I may be Irish but I'm not stupid".

The Shamrock - Before you tattoo a "Four Leaf Clover" on your ass, keep in mind that at least according to legend, St. Patrick taught Christianity using the shamrock's three leaves to represent the Trinity of God - the Father, Jesus the son of God and the Holy Ghost.

 

Irish Car bombs - If you'd like to be thrown out of a pub in Ireland just try ordering an "Irish Car Bomb". The typical Guinness® stout, Bailey's® Irish cream and Jameson® cocktail, a rather tasty concoction isn't funny in Ireland or even in Boston.

(Seriously my niece who works at Tommy Condon's in Charleston says she hears more than dozen requests a week from tourists. Apparently MUSC and College of Charleston freshman learn quickly that its a bad look but tourists in Charleston are like the plague).

Car Bombs were a major weapon in the Irish Republican Army’s fight against Northern Ireland. The car bomb’s biggest deployment by the IRA was on Friday, July 21, 1972, in a major attack on Belfast in Northern Ireland. They used 22 car bombs on the city on that day, which was known forever after as Bloody Friday. As one person described the day, “At the height of the bombing, the center of Belfast resembled a city under artillery fire; clouds of suffocating smoke enveloped buildings as one explosion followed another, almost drowning out the hysterical screams of panicked shoppers.” The attack caused significant damage not only to Northern Ireland but also to the IRA.

Bloody Friday destroyed much of the IRA’s heroic underdog popular image, produced deep revulsion amongst ordinary Catholics and eventually led to major changes in the IRA. Before this, the British were the ones committing the horrible atrocities. After this attack, the British received a major reprieve from the worldwide condemnation they were getting beforehand.

So if you must drink this order it as " A Pint with Bailey's and Jameson, your bartender will know what you want and you'll be Irish even if your not.

St. Patrick's Day is a Cat-Lick (Catholic) Holiday - Perhaps - but there is equal history supporting the notion that he was a Baptist with no connection to the Church in Rome.

Now about the parades - the first Patrick's Day parade was held on March 17, 1601 in a Spanish colony under the direction of the colony's Irish vicar, Ricardo Artur. More than a century later, homesick Irish soldiers serving in the English military marched in Boston in 1737 and in New York City on March 1762.

Sadly the Charlotte version of a St. Patrick's Day parade won't occur this year as it has formally being abandoned by founder Frank Hart and his wife Linda Dyer Hart after canceling the 2020 parade and the 2021 parade due to the County's COVID Mandates.

The parade was a private venture, something that few people knew. 

Thank and very heart felt thank you Frank and Linda. Its been fun!

Best St. Patrick's Day Parade in the South - Is now and always has been Savannah. First it is always held on the 17th and rain or shine. 2nd it is always huge! As with the Charlotte parade it did not happen for the last two years. 

FDNY for years had a contingent march in the parade. Why you may ask would firefighters from NYC travel all the way to Savannah? Because it is a target rich environment. It is a well known fact that Southern girls are "suckers" for guys in uniform. FDNY discover the now 100 year old parade in the aftermath of 9/11. All went well until a bar brawl in 2014 which resulted in more than a dozen arrests. Since then FDNY was banned from future participation in the parade. However that ban has apparently been lifted for 2020. (Parents of college age daughters you have been warned.)

If you are blessed with an Irish surname such as:

Murphy, Kelly, Byrne, Ryan, O’Sullivan, Doyle, Walsh, O’Connor, McCarthy, Mac Carthaigh, O'Dell - Fáilte and Dia duit. (Welcome and God by with you)

Enjoy the day as yours and Eire go Brach (Ireland til the end of time).