It’s been nearly twenty years since my mother has enjoyed having a dog around the house. The death of our 13 year old Lab “Robby” broke her heart so long ago, but even as recently as last year when we offered a puppy for Christmas she made it clear she wasn’t ready. Funny how my Mom even now past 70 rules the house.
So when she offered to give an unwanted puppy a home I was pretty surprised.
Bentley a ten week old Schnauzer mix belonged to “Sir Blake” a flamboyantly gay hair stylist in Matthews, North Carolina.
“Sir Blake” is well known for his emotional out busts and tirades as well as his leopard tights and French tip toe nails. But Blake is also known for his bipolar pet disorder. In the last three years Blake has purchased on a whim no less than five dogs only to change his mind and give the puppy away sometimes with tragic consequences.
“Sax” a Schnauzer was a gift from a gay lover, when the relationship soured so did Blake’s need for Sax who ended up at the Humane Society shelter.
A year later Blake bought a Yorkie, but soon discovered that the Yorkies are nearly impossible to house break. Blake gave the Yorkie puppy to his long time “Fag Hag” friend Frankie Cline. Frankie mistakenly figured a dog is a dog despite the fact that a 4 pound Yorkie looks a lot like a rabbit to hawks and owls. In a shocking display of laziness, Frankie just let the puppy out to go potty. She was surprised to discover the tiny Yorkie gone when she went to let it back in after an hour. No one knows what happened to the little dog, if it was picked up by someone, or eaten by something.
Three other puppies came and went at Sir Blake’s business in downtown Matthews, North Carolina, their status is unknown. So it came as no surprise when Blake announced that his latest purchase “Bentley” was just too much to deal with.
Turns out that to Blake, their dirty doggie paws, sloppy eating habits and puppy accidents are just too much to handle. He even resorted to washing Bentley’s feet before he would be permitted to walk on the salon floor.
After a week of hearing Blake complain about his puppy purchase, and learning that Blake had even brought Bentley to my sister’s house in hopes that she would take the dog, my mother began to consider adopting Bentley.
When Blake informed everyone including Frankie that he couldn’t stand “the dog” any longer and that “the dog” was going to the pound, my mother offered to take Bentley.
And so my sweet mother was given the dog, his bowl, doggie toys, food, pet carrier and a lifetime supply of puppy potty pads along with Sir Blake’s profound gayness proclaiming “please please please take the dog, I just can’t deal with it.”
Blake’s final word was to offer his advice on how to control the disgusting pee “if you only give him five or six cap fulls of water a day he won’t pee so much”. My mom politely smiled and took Bentley home.
So Bentley began a much happier life with my mom. He quickly settled into a daily routine of sunny walks and romps in the yard exploring his new world and new found freedom.
The puppy pads were tossed and Bentley quickly learned the joy of thick green grass. My mom was thrilled with the happy new addition to the family. Bentley’s tail a little nub, was in constant happy mode as he was allowed to roam the entire house, drink all the water he wanted, and sleep in the bed with my mom.
But nearly a week later Blake was on the phone demanding the “Damn Dog” back. My mother was in shock!
She protested, her voice broke and she began to cry, she begged and pleaded. She called Frankie Cline and asked her to intercede but Frankie would only say that Blake wanted the dog back.
So my mom her eyes swollen from crying held Bentley in her lap as she drove back to Sir Blake’s shop on North Trade Street in Matthews. Even as my mom tried to return her new doggie friend Blake insanely demanded that the “Dog” be put back in the carrier before “it” was brought back into his salon.
It’s been a week and my mom is still cries when she thinks about Bentley. We’ve joked with her about calling Ellen DeGeneres or mounting a campaign to “free Bentley” but maybe it’s just as important to “out” serial puppy buyers like Blake.
Or maybe we should just send him a message: Text “JERK” to 704-579-9360.